「Coherence and Cohesion(首尾一貫性とつながり)」は、さまざまなポイントで評価されています。以下はその代表例です。
つなぎ言葉(Cohesive Devices)が適切に使用されているか?
段落分けが適切か?
情報とアイデアを論理的に組み立てているか?
情報やアイデアが一貫していて整理されているか?
全体を通して明確な進行があるか?
段落ごとにトピックが明確に表現されているか?
文内あるいは文と文の間のつながりが不十分または機械的ではないか?
「referencing/substitution」を適切に活用できているか?
この点を念頭に、まずは以下のエッセイ(ボディ部分のみ抜粋)を読んでみることにしましょう。
ボディ1
A possible disadvantage of extracting oil and gas from untouched natural areas is that it could pose serious environmental risks. Drilling activities may contaminate air and water, releasing harmful substances such as methane and benzene. Even in uninhabited regions, these pollutants can spread through air and ocean currents, harming ecosystems on a broader scale. If pristine habitats or endangered species are disturbed, it could lead to biodiversity loss and accelerate climate change. In the long term, such environmental degradation threatens global sustainability and could undermine planetary health and safety, making it a significant drawback.
However, I believe that the advantages of exploring oil and gas in remote, undeveloped regions outweigh these disadvantages because such exploration is essential for stabilising energy prices. As global energy demand continues to rise, securing access to new reserves has become more crucial than ever to ensure a reliable energy supply. Moreover, resource development generates employment, stimulates infrastructure growth, and boosts national revenue through exports and taxation. These economic benefits can support vital public services such as healthcare, education, and poverty reduction, ultimately improving the quality of life for many people.
The increasing demand for oil and gas has made it necessary to look for these energy sources in remote and untouched natural places. Do you think the advantages of locating oil and gas in these areas outweigh the disadvantages?
ボディ1では「it could pose serious environmental risks(深刻な環境リスクをもたらす可能性がある)」と述べており、「環境リスクは大きな欠点である」と言っています。一方で、ボディ2では「essential for stabilising energy prices(エネルギー価格を安定させるために不可欠である)」と言っています。つまりこのエッセイは、ざっくり言えば「深刻な環境リスクはあるが、エネルギー価格を安定させるためには必要である」というような主張をしています。