The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
賛成の立場で、ボディ1を書くことにします。まず日本語でパーツを用意しましょう。
トピック:将来、人々の健康の水準は下がるだろう
メインアイデア:テクノロジーの発達によって、運動の必要性が減るから
賛成か反対かを答えるタスクでは、メインアイデアがトピックの理由になるので、2つを because でつなぎます。タスクの表現を土台にして、言い換えながら組み立てると、1つ目の文になります。
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People are likely to be less healthy in the future because technological development will reduce the need for physical activity.トピックはタスクの表現を自分の言葉に言い換えた。メインアイデアは「運動の必要性が減る」を the need for physical activity にした
ここでは、タスクの The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower を、People are likely to be less healthy に言い換えました。これでトピックセンテンスは完成です。
場面は、見えているものをそのまま書けば文になります。For example, many people drive to work. と書くのに、考える作業はほとんど要りません。一方で、「なぜテクノロジーが発達すると運動の必要性が減るのか」を言葉にするには、それらの場面に共通しているものを取り出して、言語化する必要があります。イメージを言語化するこの作業は、日本語でも簡単ではありません。試しに日本語で理由を言ってみると、慣れていない方は「便利になるから」くらいにしか表現できないかもしれません。
People are likely to be less healthy in the future because technological development will reduce the need for physical activity. For example, many people drive to work instead of walking. In addition, robot vacuum cleaners clean the floor, and meals can be ordered on a smartphone.
People are likely to be less healthy in the future. For example, many people drive to work and do not walk. Robot vacuum cleaners clean the floor, and people order their meals on their smartphones.
People are likely to be less healthy in the future because technological development will reduce the need for physical activity. Technology is designed to make everyday tasks more convenient and efficient, but in doing so it also removes the physical effort that these tasks once required. For example, people who used to walk to the shops and clean their homes by hand can now order groceries online and leave the cleaning to a robot vacuum cleaner. As more daily tasks are automated in this way, many people may spend most of the day sitting, which increases the risk of obesity and heart disease.
Technology refers to tools and techniques that make people's lives more convenient.語の説明としては正しい。ただ、運動の話まで届いていない
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Technology is designed to make everyday tasks more convenient and efficient, but in doing so it also removes the physical effort that these tasks once required.定義のあとに、メインアイデアの結果(運動の必要性が減る)へつなぐ部分がある
△は辞書の説明で止まっています。この文のあとに For example を続けると、読み手は「便利になること」と「運動が減ること」を自分でつなぐことになり、03の段落と変わりません。定義してみるのは、サポートアイデアを見つける手がかりを得るためです。文として書くときは、手順のステップ3にあたる後半の部分まで入れておきましょう。日本語で「〜する一方で」「〜するので」と続けてみると、後半が出てきやすくなります。
The government should tighten its regulation on social media because fake news is a serious concern for society. Fake news is false information that is shared as if it were true, so many people may act on something that never happened, and the effects can spread across society. For example, a false post claiming that a food shortage is coming can lead people to buy far more than they need, and the shelves may then be empty for everyone else.
ただ、このままだと、第2文の後半が1文目の繰り返し気味です。「社会に広がる」は、1文目の a serious concern for society を言い換えただけで、読み手が新しく知ることがありません。
The government should tighten its regulation on social media because fake news is a serious concern for society. Fake news is false information that is shared as if it were true, so people may act on something that never happened, and their actions can affect others who never even saw the post. For example, a false post claiming that a food shortage is coming can lead people to buy far more than they need, and the shelves may then be empty for everyone else.